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For most of my life, I didn't really understand what precious meant. I associated it with money. Ads associated it with gems and jewels. Having a career and a family made me associate it with time. All of that are secondary though. When I get home from work and look into those eyes, I understand what precious is.
Those of you out there who are parents will understand this. Once you become a parent, other parents seem to crawl out of the woodwork and begin talking to you. Parents and expectant parents... even couples trying to get pregnant. People gush over Calder and in the same breath open up to me with their personal battles with pregnancies and life.
Couples who have gone through literally handfuls of miscarriages, stillborn babies and couples struggling to even get pregnant open up to you. And together you share stories, hopes, fears and dreams. When my wife was pregnant, fellow commuters would sit beside me as I read fatherhood books and offer advice. While everyone's burping, sleeping and feeding advice was different, there was one common theme. Enjoy these times. Enjoy your child.
Calder is a healthy, growing boy. We are truly blessed for that. Not every parent is so lucky and not every couple can have a child. We got lucky. Calder was our first attempt and he is healthy and strong and growing. We do know people who aren't so lucky and who battled with miscarriages and infertility, only to recently become parents for the first time. Then there are others who have children who aren't as healthy as Calder. Like our friends around the block and their child Parker http://scidada.blogspot.com. Elizabeth is a co-worker of both of Parker's parents and I knew his mom via her brother from years ago. Parker was born the day after we told his parents that we were also going to have a baby. The moms got excited about being on mat leave together, and the dads silently wondered who would have the better athlete. Parker is going to be healthy, he just isn't quite there yet. He might need some help and encouragement. He's every bit as precious as Calder is, as every baby is. They all need our love and we are all blessed by them. Every single second with them. When Parker gets healthy and can have some playfriends, Calder will be right over in the blink of an eye. He's primed and pumped for some playtime with Parker. Lookout neighbourhood!
Why am I like this today? Well, I've been very stressed out. It must be all the changes in my life in the last year, with the added pressures of fatherhood (time, money... see above comment about what is precious) all finally catching up to me. I lost track of what is precious. My wife saw me practically snap last night and took some action. She walked the dog and made dinner so that when I got home late from work today, I could spend time with Calder and get back to what was important. If she didn't do that I don't know what tonight would have been like, but I certainly wouldn't have been sane enough to add to this blog. Even though it meant a hectic pace for her and a long day, she pulled through it for me. Thank you sweetie. And thanks for all that you do with Calder during the day to make him the beautiful smiling boy that he is. Mothers don't get enough credit or recognition sometimes.
Speaking of mothers, my mom got some very good test results back yesterday from a recent surgery. We are all happy about the results. Here's Calder with his avô and avó. You'll be seeing more of Calder and his family in the near future.
This is yet another reason why babies are precious. We don't always get the chance to see them explore the world. "Work" gets in the way, and these are moments that we can never relive. "They grow up so fast"
is what people said to me on the train or in other venues of baby conversation. I never quite understood and forgot what little I did, until tonight. I get it again.
Good night Calder. Daddy loves you!
Wow! What a beautiful, heartfelt message Gary. Thank-you so much for your words about Parker. We know that he will be fine and we can't wait until the day that he can play with Calder and Elizabeth and I can have our "mommy and baby" time together as friends. We are so happy that Calder is doing so well and is so happy. He is very blessed to have two loving parents as well as a very loving and caring network of family and friends. Every once in a while it makes us feel better to just write and really put things into perspective. Life is precious- we are reminded of that each and every day with our precious Parker. It is often very difficult for all of us to try and separate ourselves from the stresses of everyday life. I am so glad that Calder enables you to truly appreciate what is most important- our family. Hope your days get better. Hug your little guy whenever you feel overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteTracy
xo
Gary, what can I say? I am not even sure I could ever compose something so emotional like that...wow! It is true about what is precious in our lives etc... I think we all need to take a step back now and again to really see how we as a family are blessed. Now that Calder has entered into all of our lives, it has changed my way of thinking too.. He, and all other babies born in this world are truly miracles, and Calder, as well as Parker are extremely blessed to have wonderful and caring parents! And I can only imagine how parenting must be...And with all the other added changes - new home, wedding etc... it is only normal to feel the stress of it all. Take Tracy's advice...when you feel sometimes that stuff is too much to bear...give Calder a hug- I am sure he will appreciate it too! Remember if you guys need a babysitter......You know where we are!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Colleen